Life has too many syllables. At first, you may be thinking “life” has but one syllable. On the surface this appears to be true, but therein lies the great deception. Life, in fact, has ALL the syllables. Think how much more pleasant life would be if we were to collectively determine that syllable reduction would be to the benefit of all mankind. Emails, letters, articles, and of course blogs would be considerably shorter and therefore much more bearable. Political speeches would be over and forgotten sooner. And, those extremely verbose text messages people can’t seem to stop sending would be reduced by at least 30%, by my estimation. (Just imagine how much sooner I would have finished this paragraph.)
I’m suggesting a grassroots movement toward a syllabification revolt. Any word containing more than two syllables must be reduced by a factor of 1 or 2. Such a small step could have huge results. Mississippi would become Mispi. Celebration could be simply bration. Even the word syllable could be transformed to sylble. The passage of time and pop culture have already given birth to this sort of verbal metamorphosis–pardon me, morphis. President has given way to Prez, and vice-president is now veep. The possibilities are truly endless. As I see it the transmation would be cause for great bration.
What’s next? The extermination of the emoji.